My Mommy Tales

What I wish I had known before I had kids:

~Morning sickness can strike anytime of the day.

~When you’re pregnant, your body becomes public property.

~Everyone will tell you about their children’s births.

~You will hear every horror labor story known to mankind.

~That labor is tougher than they make it look on TV.

~That epidurals don’t hurt when you are already in unbearable pain.

~The moment the baby is out, all you feel is pure joy, mainly because of the baby is finally in your arms, but also because the pain is finally gone.

~That when you are first learning to breastfeed, you realize that it feels REALLY weird.

~That milk can squirt, and it gets some really good distance.

~When you hear a baby cry, you automatically look to yours, even if the cry was on TV.

~You spend so much time holding and feeding the baby, you learn to do almost everything with one hand.

~You envy you husband for being able to sleep through the night.

~That strangers will freak out when you tell them that they can’t hold the baby.

~You are so tired that you wish the house could clean itself.

~You get strange looks when you breastfeed in public.

~That there is nothing like seeing your baby smile for the first time.

~That infomercials are really funny when you are half asleep feeding the baby.

~That you always smell a bit like sour milk, but you really don’t care.

~You have an adventure every time you leave the house.

~You finally understand why your mom is so great.

~It’s really hard to fit a stroller and yourself into a bathroom stall.

~That people who don’t have kids give you advice.